HOW AM I REALLY DOING? How is my heart?
Lets have a little chit chat!
So where do I even begin? I haven’t blogged for quite some time and I am not proud if it. I haven’t been prioritising it as much as I wanted to but lets not dwell there.
How is my heart really doing, is the question I want to answer first. I have been okay actually. For the most part of it. I still go through the emotions now and again. I now find myself facing them head on. I’ve learn’t to process how I feel and actually try and do something about the feeling.
No more throwing pity parties, thank you Jesus. A girl has grown up :)
Here is a brief recap of what has been going on with me lately…
MAY: I fetched my baby Gracie from the dealership. An early birthday gift to myself. Truly an answered given how long I waited to get myself a car.
JUNE: I turned 25, my birthday was absolutely amazing. Despite the stress of planning the entire day to the tee, everyone who needed to be there was there. I am so grateful to God for that and I look forward to His Grace covering me, always.
Also, June marked a whole year of being single. Crazy I know, time flew by. I mention this not as a celebratory moment but as a mark on how far I have come in my healing journey. Sheesh. It hasn’t been easy at all. I can safely say, I am still shedding off the residue of all that hurt, pain and disappointment. I am not as triggered as I was before, instead I am able to take those moments as an opportunity to remind myself that it was all for the greater good. And that, this peace that I now walk in is as a result of denying myself, my wants and letting God’s will take precedent over it all.
I now search for God’s glory in everything!
Also I did experience waves of loneliness for weeks, which was very strange to navigate. I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. The urge and desire to want to have someone to talk to and share laughs with did creep in on me, NO LIE. However I instead, drew nearer to God. The last thing I wanted was falling in the arms of someone outside of God’s will.
Singleness is a whole other conversation by the way that needs to be had. But for now, we thank God through it all.
Now we are still in the month of July, still taking it each day as it comes.
I am not where I want to be but I am definitely not where I was before. And I thank God for that every single day.
The heart work requires hard work. Work that needs you to daily deny yourself and allow the WILL of God to take over.
I am excited. A lot of plans on the pipeline, God is at work! And I am so ready for the GOD MOVES!
Until next time darling… in the meantime, do have a heart check and find out who you are really doing. Write it down if need be, go for that walk, buy yourself ice cream and don’t forget GOD through it all.
